Death in the family is already painful enough. Dealing with death because of suicide makes it extremely worse. As part of the bereaved family, you suffer the most. You are suddenly filled with a lot of questions, and you go through almost all sorts of negative emotions.
There are ways, though, on how to better deal with the pain:
1. Go through a period of grief. Don’t stop yourself from grieving, and don’t allow others to dictate how you should grieve. There’s no general rule about it, and every person has got to do what he or she has got to do just to deal with it.
Don’t expect the grief to last for a very short time. It’s not uncommon to hear of survivors who can’t help but cry about it after a lot of years. You can just take each day one at a time.
2. All those negative emotions are completely understandable and normal. It’s not unusual to feel guilt or shame over what happened. There’s always that what-if question bugging you like crazy. You think, “What if I did this and that? He or she could still be around by now.” You may also feel ashamed, as there are still people who consider suicide as taboo.
These feelings are normal, but you need to get over them as soon as possible. Death has already happened. There’s no point in taking the blame or carrying the guilt.
3. Talk about what you feel. There are plenty of support groups for people who need to cope with suicide in the family. You can participate in any of them. Support groups can be there with and for you during your most trying times. You can learn a lot from their respective experiences. They also provide you an outlet to talk about your feelings and thoughts.
4. Be alert of any signs of intense depression. Depression is usually one of the outcomes of death due to suicide. Mind you, almost everyone goes through that phase. Sometimes the depression lasts for quite some time. Nevertheless, you should be extremely wary when it aggravates to something else. When the depression stops you from functioning properly or compels you to think ill about yourself or other people (even to the point of thinking about death and committing suicide), then you have to seek help immediately.
5. Force yourself to go back to your normal routine. It may be very difficult, but you need to establish a sense of normalcy again in your life. Again, you can take things one step at a time. But the most important thing is you’re trying to do it.
6. Fill your life with positive messages. With so much darkness and sadness inside and around you, there’s no doubt that it’s the most opportune time to feel your life with affirmations. They fill your mind with positive thoughts, boosting your confidence and giving you a lot of hope. These subliminal messages include the following:
I am harmonious and well loved.
I accept death, in whatever form, as part of life.
I forgive him (or her) for what he (or she) did.